So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
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There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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