So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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