your parents love me but you hate me
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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