I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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