I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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