u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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