I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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