I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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