Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a hot homeless man
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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