Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize