that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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