she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
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I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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