did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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