I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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