we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize