im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize