my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize