please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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