I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize