Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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