How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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