i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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