I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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