we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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