Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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