it wasn't lemon gatorade
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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