morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize