Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize