I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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