I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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