i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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