And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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