do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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