i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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