Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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