he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i've created a new STD.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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