If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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