So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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