the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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