she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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