What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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