Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize