How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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