Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize