How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize