What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize