I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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