I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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