I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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