I bet he comes in French.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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